Friday, January 19, 2018

All The Single Ladies!

February 23, 2010 by  
Filed under black women, relationships

Sometimes the single life doesn’t feel like a Beyonce video.  And as we learned from Race Talk’s Angela Stanley, it ain’t cheap eitherShoveling duty over the last two weeks has also put me in the “yeah, I’m independent, but I could still use some help!” mood.  There is still snow on the ground but really, spring is just around the corner.  So it’s a perfect time for a reminder on how to make the most of the single life.

I’m single because I was born that way. —Mae West

Focus on friendship. Being single doesn’t have to mean being lonely. When you’re single, you have more time to do a variety of things, all of which are opportunities to forge new friendships. Even if you’re an introvert, this can be an excellent time to nurture your extroverted side. But social butterflies can grapple with loneliness too. Make it a priority in your life to create meaningful friendships and enrich your existing ones.

Enjoy your freedom. Everybody has radical little fantasies…and the chances of pairing up with someone who shares such a fantasy with equal fervor is not something to hold your breath for.   So what are you waiting for? Find some people who have the same idea, or just go for it alone, and you’ll meet like-minded people along the way.

Appreciate the absence of compromise. Classic relationship advice dictates that compromise and sacrifice are essential to a healthy relationship. Perhaps if you’ve been in a relationship before, you realize how much stuff you had to give up in order to make that relationship work. Or maybe you forgot about that stuff, because you’re focused on the things you miss. Well, this is a good time to shift that focus. If you’re a slob, isn’t it great to be able to leave your stuff laying around, without anybody minding? If you’re a neat freak, isn’t it wonderful to be able to organize everything, and find it the way you left it? Isn’t it nice to be able to cook and eat and enjoy foods that a partner might be averse to? Isn’t it cool to be able to go out spontaneously, without wondering whether your partner can or should be invited? A relationship can add many good things to your life, but it also adds some rigidity, so take the time to appreciate your current flexibility.

Cherish the excitement.Relationships tend to come along with planning–for example, you can’t just accept a job across the country without touching base with your significant other. And generally, if you’re in it for the long haul, you’ll likely talk about what you’ll be doing years from now. But when you’re single, the future is completely open. Today you’re at your desk, and a year from now you might be camping in Alaska. Right now you’re single, but tomorrow you might meet your soulmate. Who knows? Fantasize. Be spontaneous. Be bold.

Inspiration provided by wikiHow, a wiki building the world’s largest, highest quality how-to manual.

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  • Ms. Eye

    Yes, you can do all those things, but remember to date successful men and alot of them. It makes life easier esp if you are single with no kids.

  • Ms. Eye

    Yes, you can do all those things, but remember to date successful men and alot of them. It makes life easier esp if you are single with no kids.