Why Is Forgiveness So Difficult?
December 31, 2009 by blackgirlgrown
Filed under emotional health
Forgiveness appeals to our more Christ-like qualities: the ability to forgive someone who has hurt you. An amazing quality for those who are able to do it without question. And that’s not even getting into the whole ”forgetting” part of forgiveness.
I’ve tried forgiveness, and have been partially successful, but the forgetting part is not something my rational mind will allow (fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice….). And a rational mind that doesn’t allow one to forget constantly questions whether the forgiveness was warranted.
Trivial matters excluded, forgiveness is most difficult in matters of the heart. Forgiveness requires you to remain open, vulnerable, and exposed to more of the same.
It remains on my eternal “to-do” list. A perpetual work in progress.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ―Paul Boese
BlissTree recently featured commentary by Connie Domino, author of The Law of Forgiveness:
Carrying around hurt and anger is harmful in many ways — spiritually, physically and mentally. Who exactly should you forgive, and how do you go about it?
Connie Domino, author of The Law of Forgiveness, says you should forgive everyone. She offers some tips on forgiveness, including a visualization technique, in her article, “Ten People You Need to Forgive Now,” which she has shared for you below. Forgiveness can be more simple and easier than you have imagined, and the rewards of forgiveness can be great.
Connie’s article serves to remind us that perhaps we’re making forgiveness more complicated than it needs to be. Plus, she reminds us that forgiveness isn’t the same as a pardon, and it’s the person who forgives who benefits.
Connie’s article goes on to outline the ten people you need to forgive now.
Those people include:
- your parents
- your spouse/significant other
- siblings and other relatives
- friends
- bosses/supervisors
- coworkers
- the government
- companies and private industry
- God
- yourself
While I can’t pretend to have problems forgiving at least 7 or 8 of the listed ten, the 2 or 3 I do have difficulty forgiving are burdens in need of lifting.
blackgirlgrown
