Fitting in A Nervous Breakdown Before Lunch

September 15, 2009 by blackgirlgrown
Filed under black women, health and wellness

We’re all going through it. This economy has the best of us on edge. We can name on more than one hand (for some of us two) family and friends that have been out of work for at least a year. Even with college degrees, this economy is making us all humble. And the economic news isn’t getting any better. The same goes for those of us who’ve been able to hold onto our jobs. We wonder if we’re next to get the pink slip.

We are all doubting our value and futures.

But as black women, most of us refuse to let it show. After all, we’re “strong black women.” We refuse to show weakness. It is not in our character to do so, a trait borne out of necessity. We hold it in. We put ourselves last. We front like we’re okay. We don’t give ourselves permission to complain, to breakdown, or to ask for help.

“Something is terribly wrong with me, but I don’t have time for it. I’ve got a family who depends on me to be strong. I’m the one that everyone turns to.” This woman, more con[c]erned about her family than herself, said she “[felt] guilty spending so much time on [her]self.” – Dr. Barbara Jones Warren recounting a conversation with one of her black female clients

Sound familiar?

Living this way is physically and emotionally unhealthy. We won’t even allow ourselves a real nervous breakdown. We’re too busy. We don’t have enough free time to fit one in!

We end up cobbling a few minutes together in the bathroom stall to scream silently and cry quickly.

Then it’s back to work or back to our reality. Game face back on.

But we do ourselves and our loved ones a disservice by holding it in. Our quality of life deteriorates. Our mental health is sacrificed. Our sanity is compromised. And our 15 minute nervous breakdowns are band-aids, doing nothing to soothe the soul for the long-term.

The answers? We’re still looking. But at the very least we must commit ourselves to: